DUDE YOU HAVE TO SEE “HOLY FIRE”

By EVAN MILLAR

You know what movie I saw the other day that I haven’t seen in a while? “Holy Fire”. Man, it is seriously so good. It’s like the best movie ever. I’m not lying, its up there in the All-Time Top Ten.

What, are you kidding me? Dude, you have to see it.

Do you have a mind? Well then prepare for it to get blown compadre.

I’m serious man, there is no way it will not blow your mind. Unless you don’t have a mind, because then there would be nothing to blow. Plus, if you didn’t have a mind you wouldn’t be able to understand it in its fullness, what with all its eccentric storylines, plot intricacies and whathaveyous.

But no, you’d understand. You, my friend, have the brains to grasp the profundity that it presents, the cinematic depth that is so ruthlessly and mercilessly explores. It’s right up your alley. Knowing you, you’d love it, go absolutely apeshit for it. You’d sit still, jaw agape, drool collecting at the side of your mouth, wondering just how a human person managed to so adeptly encapsulate all that is intellectually stimulating in such an endearingly perplexing 116 minutes. It’s so you. It has “you” written all over it. If there was one movie ever that I was to recommend to you, it would be this one. Its as if the whole thing was made just for you; Charlie Bernhauser totally had you in mind when he made it. It might as well have been called “You”.

Yeah, Charlie Bernhauser.

He’s the one that did “Fog in the House of Mist”

Oh man, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

I’ve seen it like seven times; notice something new each time too. Its one of the few movies I’ve bestowed with the status of infinite rewatcheability. Are you sure you’ve never seen it? What about high?

You haven’t even seen it high?

I bet you wondered why I asked you that—why if you said you hadn’t seen it I’d ask you if you’d seen it high. Two different movies. Two totally different viewing experiences. High its like you understand the wholeness on a totally different level, appreciate nuances you would otherwise never notice, think things you would never even think to think of, see things that not only had you not seen, but that weren’t even there when you were sober. I’ve seen it high six times—and I don’t count that as part of the initial seven.

Oh, is this your stop?

Hey what are you doing now, want to go grab a coffee? I could tell you more about all my other favorite movies. I have lots of favorites. Lets see, there’s…

No?

Oh well, no problaymo. Say, well why don’t you give me your number and I’ll take you up on that raincheck some other time.

You know what, thats cool. Say, I never even caught your name. Boy, how rude of me…

Well, to each their own. Well hey, its no big deal really. I mean at least now I know what part of the city you live in so maybe I’ll just start hanging around your neighborhood more often, until I run into you again. We could be neighborhood buddies and you could see me at the bus stop from across the street and you could wave at me and I could smile back and you could use your newspaper to point to your watch just to let me know that you are in a rush but then you would make that inviting eyebrow scrunch that means “we’ll catch up soon”. And we would. Thats the best part, we would. We could see each other at the local store and compare the groceries that each of us are buying while we walk down the aisle, smiling, happy to see one another. Just like in that scene in “Ruth’s Caveat”.

Never seen it?

Oh.

Well hey, do me –Nay, yourself— a favour, and go see Holy Fire”.

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