Helmut Eindringling’s Cinemaguide

Translated by Herman Eindringling

Chapter 2: Boredom

The good film is the film that is boring. Hollywood America is bad films – all things moving, dancing, singing of home. With bangs and crashes and the explosions of energy, the American film distracts and negates the filmality of truth. It is the real might of film that enshrouds the dull film.
For what does the madman talk? Overhear. It is with long shots, still frames, ugly acts, and the colours of brown and grey that the Angel of film serves lobsters of merit. In the unfeelable rapture of stolid gaze, the Masterwatcher billows under the gale force of philosophization. Like the monk at Lent, or the mistakenly buried widow, the parapsychosis of the endroned person weaves art with the bitter canny of the Amputee Floutist.

Look to the Kubrick, of 2001: Odyssey of Expanse. This Geniusfilm infects viewers with gazophilia, inducing coma-thought of the greatest. No shot in this film does not last underneath 3 minutes, and no dialogue in no shot does not last overneath 20 seconds. To view 2001 is to view all time, endless immortality, and have of thoughts infinite – to create smart with the watcher, and gain advantage from thus.

Look once more to my Ownfilm, the award-winner Pax Eisenfaust. Upon the death of Kaiser Erbrechenhund, all characters are shut silent and paralysis. For 20 minutes, they paralyze. The viewer paralyze as well, thoughtbirth, and perhaps the actors thoughtbirth as well… but what of fate?

Nothing…
Nothing.

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