Excerpts from “The Very Scary Joke Boo!k”
Everyone already knows that Halloween is the best holiday. But did you know you can make it more fun? Here are some practically devilish practical jokes designed by Dr. Prankenstein in his mad scientist’s Secret Scaboratory. Easy to use, the tips are fun for all ages and will guarantee scares for the whole family– and guarantee laughs for everyone!
1. Tie a piece of string around the leg of a fake rat. Hide in the next room. When someone walks by, pull the string. They will think the rat is real!
2. Put a plastic skeleton in your family closet. Hide nearby and wait for the screams!
3. On a weekend day, wake up your sister and say to her, “You better get up, you are late for school!”
4. Start collecting matchbooks from various bars across the city. In pen, write phone numbers on them and hide them around your parent’s house in places that your father won’t find them but your mother will.
5. When you are with a friend who is very afraid of bats, look to the sky and say “I think I see a bat!”
6. Put plastic bugs in your sister’s bed.
7. Find one of your father’s nice dress shirts. Buy some lipstick that your mother does not use. Put some on and start kissing your father’s shirt, leaving stains. Then crumple up the shirt and hide in under the bed.
8. When someone is talking, make funny noises like “Boo!” and “OoOoOohh!” to make it sound like the person talking is making the noises. Everyone will think they are a ghost!
9. Look at your sister and say “Oh my! You have a very large bug on your shoulder!”
10. Hit yourself in the face with a baseball bat until bruises start to show. When your mom asks you what happened, tell her that your father told you not to talk about it. When your father asks you what happened, tell him you are not allowed to tell him who did it because no one can know about your mother’s special friend. When they both confront you at the same time, start crying and insist you fell down the stairs.
11. Vanish completely for a while. Find somewhere to stay that no one (parents, friends, relatives) could possibly know about. After two weeks, use a payphone to call home. If your father answers, hang up. If your mother answers, beg her for help in a hushed cry, insisting that your father is keeping you somewhere strange and that you do not feel safe. When she asks you where you are, scream and hang up.
12. Unscrew the lid on the saltshaker.