ROUND ONE, DEFINITION: “CHATOOKEE”
PLAYER ONE: A constrictive force which can render life stagnant and static.
PLAYER TWO: Ok, well its sort of like a train. Its this certain type of train. Dang, I guess I’m not too good at this…is it a train?
PLAYER THREE: A spell that ancient Indians used to help with their harvests.
PLAYER FOUR: A lewd, adulterous sexual act. Ask Sarah, she’ll know.
REAL DEFINITION: A bird which drinks falling raindrops.
ROUND TWO, DATES: “October 1, 1988”
PLAYER THREE: The day a pair of Siamese twins walked from Georgia to New York to raise awareness.
PLAYER FOUR: The day where it became apparently acceptable for a married woman to suck whatever dick was waved in front of her face.
PLAYER TWO: Halloween? It can’t be Halloween. Halloween?
REAL ANSWER: The Bavarian government asked people to stop yodelling because it was scaring the mountain goats.
PLAYER ONE: The first day of the Bobbitt trials.
ROUND THREE, PERSON’S NAME: “CHARLES L. BROLEY”
REAL ANSWER: Famous bird-watcher who did extensive studies of the bald eagle, known to many as the “Eagle Man”.
PLAYER FOUR: I dont know, is it someone you slept with? I’m just going to award myself a point right now, because given that you’ve seemingly slept with EVERYONE, my answer is statistically infallible.
PLAYER THREE: The man drove a car with wheels of cheese.
PLAYER TWO: TV Host!
PLAYER ONE: The guy with the second smallest penis in the world.
ROUND FOUR, MOVIE TITLE: “THE STRANGE DOOR”
PLAYER TWO: Never heard of it.
PLAYER FOUR: A fucking bitch does some real shitty things to a nice guy with a statistically average-sized penis who doesn’t deserve any of it. Her cunting ways cause him to spiral into a deep depression and ultimately question the meaning of love and whether or not it can ever even exist again. An intriuging tale of betrayal, blowjobs, manipulation, more blowjobs and lies.
REAL ANSWER: A noble-born cad has been tricked into a forced stay at the eerie manor of the Sire de Maletroit, an evil madman who plots revenge.
PLAYER THREE: A young married couple walk through a strange door that opens up to a world without quarrels, where troubles are forgotten and love is in the air.
PLAYER ONE: An emotionally crippled and immature man-child with a striking inability to face reality makes consistently inappropriate barbs to cut down his unimpressed wife in front of two friends who sit awkwardly in silence; then walks through a strange door.
ROUND FIVE, INITIALS: “M.C.S.A.”
PLAYER THREE: Many Couples Seek Assistance
PLAYER ONE: Men Can Suck Ass
PLAYER FOUR: Giving everyone blowjobs is immature
REAL ANSWER: Marble Collectors Society of America
PLAYER TWO: C.N.N.