Grad student’s ice cream flavours rejected by Food Network’s “Scoop!” contest

To Whom It May Delight,

I am writing w/r/t your fascinating contest, whereby your speciality cable network has invited an openly democratic selection of the latest Haagen-Dazs ice cream novelty. As an applicant to the M.A. programme in Social and Political thought at York University with a B.A. (Honours) in General Studies at McGill University, and as a burgeoning scholar of Marxian orientation who has a nuanced understanding of the dialectical relationship between the sensuous activity of labour production and the libratory possibilities inscribed in the necesarily politicized sumptuousness of iced cream, I offer the following suggestions.

Foucaultkies and Cream: Too often have less representative frozen deserts autocratically relegated their crunchy cookie chunks to a lamentably marginalized position within the cookies/cream binary. While steeped in a rich vanilla base, this flavour elevates the cookie from the subservient subaltern to the ice cream’s Essential Character. Two hefty scoops and you’ll be convinced that dis-course can be the main course!

Sherbert Marcuse: Get ready to negate those last ten pounds! Possessive of a subtle tangerine liveliness and only 15 calories (from fat), this piquant treat proves the perfect companion to a solemn evening of Hegelian dialectical reconciliation, while also appealing to health-conscious, left-wing Frankfurt foodies aiming to radically delimit their own aesthetic dimensions.

Rum and Irigaraisin: While tastefully combining the sweetness of dried grapes with subtle hints of distilled sugarcane, this submission should be considered as more of a dessert concept than a flavour proper. Destabilizing the phallogcentric regime of the cone as the universal referent for deliciousness, the consequence of Rum and Irigaraisin is best realized when savoured within in a radically-(de)constructed waffle bowl shaped like a vulva.

Frantz Fanon: Chocolate.

If you have any questions regarding these proposed flavours, or wish to contact re: an interview for your own elucidation and (post)Enlightenment, please do hesitate to shoot me an e-mail.


John Andrew Semley

M.A. (all but commenced), York University

a prime example of the paradigmatic shift in frozen dessert treat aesthetix.

Margaret Kilgallen's MINT!: A Phantasmagoria a sterling example of the paradigmatic shift in frozen dessert treat aesthetix.


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