R.L. Stine’s Unreleased GOOSEBUMPS Synopses!

goosebumpscastwithstineRecently, while perusing the wares at R.L.Stine’s estate sale and non-perishable food drive, one of Terminal Laughter’s interns came across a spiral-bound folio of grave interest. It contained literally dozens of proposed titles and capsule synopses for never-released titles in the Goosebumps series of children’s novellas.

Now, in a Terminal Laughter Hallo-scream Edition Exclusive, we have reprinted several of the most ghastly entries, entirely for your pleasure.

The Maniacal Mangler on Mulholland Drive—While visiting their famous novelist uncle at his 12,000 square foot mansion in Los Angeles, Beverly and her kid brother Stu learn that there’s more to the life of a multi-talented playboy author than loud parties and fast women. When a maniacal mangler hell-bent on mangling their awesome uncle’s career begins terrorizing his pool parties, our two budding gumshoes must find the monster in order to save Uncle Roger from prison. These are the party days! Or are they?

The Curse of the Caterer’s Apprentice—Everyone knows caviar is the most delicious hors d’œuvre, right? Well Jeff and his cousin Stephen always thought so! Until one day at one of Jeff’s dad’s reasonably priced publishing shindigs, they notice that the bone caviar serving spoons look like they might be made from…real bone! Could it be that the caterer is caught up in the occult? Or is it his apprentice? You’ll have to read it to find out what’s really in the canapés!

Another Shocker on Shock Street—In the shocking follow-up to A Shocker on Shock Street, Erin and Marty return to the Shocker Studio Theme Park to find out that…nothing has changed! Evil skeletons still pack the park, giant praying mantises roam free and the Toadinator returns with a score to settle. Real life is still a whole lot scarier than the movies! But Shock Street isn’t really real? Is it? Still?

Goosebumps Ghoulish Cross-over Spooktacular—Celebrate the 75th entry in your favourite spooky book series with this double thick extravaganza! Slappy the Dummy! Monster Blood! The Phantom of the Auditorium! The Beast From the East! The Return of the Mummy! They’re all here to face off against their wiliest adversary yet…YOU! Can you survive the onslaught of these banner-name beasts? Buy this book and find out!

The Girl Who Cried Diminishing Returns!—Sandy’s mom is a big deal literary agent who works with Sandy’s most favourite writer. Sandy is very proud of her mommy. But one day mommy tells her that her favourite author isn’t meeting his projected grosses and that he may be let go. Sandy is devastated! But it can’t be the author’s fault, can it? And what’s mommy doing eating scarab beetles for breakfast? Sandy must choose between her demonic mommy and the nice writer man who brought so much joy into her life, and must learn that real life is full of tough decisions!

Monster Blood V (VI?)—It’s at least five times the evil! Evan Green is back again fighting monster blood, that gruesome slime that turns household pets into beasts and does other things! If you loved the other Monster Bloods, you’re bound to buy this one! This time the blood is…PURPLE!!!!

Possession of the Dispossessed—Brendan Spine used to love eating fancy dinners with his well-to-do daddy. But lately, financial crisis has sent him and his nobly struggling artist father into soup kitchens for lukewarm Styrofoam cups of barley broth. But when Scott Mission regulars begin acting mysteriously, can Brendan’s dad expel the demons preying on the destitute while remaining mindful of page count and suturing in a twist ending?

Night of the Living Author—Do you believe in curses? In this, the most terror-fying Goosebumps yet, a long-forgotten novelist returns from the dead to exact revenge on Erin, Sandy, Jeff, Stephen, Marty, Brendan, and all the other legions of readers who BETRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYED him! Written in virgin blood and bound in the flesh of ungrateful children, Night of the Living Author is bound to give you…Goosebumps!

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